Four things

[zoetrope]

1. Happy Valentine's Day! You guys out there in LJ-land make each day a little brighter, and I love you all for that.

2. I've been staying with my Mum for a few days, while ill, but today I attempted to go back to the real world (AKA London), I really did. But I was so feverish that I actually got on the wrong train and ended up back where I started! Don't ask how, I'm not entirely sure.

3. I've always wanted to be one of those people who answers the phone in interesting ways. Until tonight, I've never had the guts...

An actual conversation over the telephone this evening:

Me: Good Evening, Mother Zoetrope's House of Fish, how may I help?
Them: Er... Is Mother Zoetrope there?
Me: Who is this?
Them: It's... the fish shop.

No kidding, it really was the fish shop calling. As cincodemaygirl said: "Sometimes life just needs a little added absurdity! You just managed PSYCHIC absurdity, which is extra nifty!"

4. This may be the worst writing in the history of language. Even funnier, it's about my Great Great Grandfather:



I do not want to know the extent to which he "knew the trees" *shudder*.

Comments

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I once answered a public phone that had been ringing and ringing and ringing. It was in a parking lot (don't ask why I was loitering, it's a very boring story) and I was there with some other people and it just kept ringing. So finally I walked over, answered it, and in my best phonesex voice said, "Candy's house of anal pleasure. How may I service you?" The reply, "Umm... I think I have the wrong number." Click. Two minutes later the phone rings again. "Candy's house of anal pleasure. How may I service you?" Silence and then "Umm... is Matt there?" "I'm sorry, we don't have anyone named Matt, but I'm sure we've got someone who can satisfy you, sweetie. What are looking for, baby?" Click. The phone didn't ring again. :)

[zoetrope.livejournal.com]

Hee! So you're the person I always wanted to be!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted another opportunity to do this. But I'm not doing it at home because if I do it'll be my mother-in-law on the line. And I can't do it at work. *sigh* Perhaps one day I'll have another chance with a random phone. :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

. I've been staying with my Mum for a few days, while ill, but today I attempted to go back to the real world (AKA London), I really did. But I was so feverish that I actually got on the wrong train and ended up back where I started! Don't ask how, I'm not entirely sure.

Oh, good Lord. That is what we commonly call A SIGN FROM GOD.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

yeah so i've been a slasher too long.

i saw these sentences----> he ... was a man who knew tress. know them he did, with a closer intimacy than some of us know our own kith and kin...

well, you know where i went with that. *G*

[cincodemaygirl.livejournal.com]

Happy Valentine's, though you'll get it a day late. I hope you're feeling much better! Let me know if I need to threaten those germs again... :)

[the-41st-knight.livejournal.com]

My housemate Oli answered the phone with "Savoy Grill" the other week.

Turns out it was our other housemate's rather rigid father-in-law.

He won't be doing that again. Sadly.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

Wow! My weirdest parking-lot payphone story is just the time I happened to walk by a ringing phone, answered it on a whim... and it was for me.

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Okay, the fact that it was for you? That's pretty weird, actually.

[zoetrope.livejournal.com]

Goodness! What's the story behind that?!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

I had called my aunt from the payphone a few days before-- it was in a parking lot near the University of Oregon dorm my choir was staying at, when we sang at the Oregon Bach Festival-- to try to arrange a meeting with her while I was in town. When I picked it up and said hello, I heard her say, in a very mannered tone, "Hello, may I please speak with Lauren Smith?" (*) She had saved the number I'd called her from, assuming it was an administrative desk or something. I just happened to be walking past at the moment she'd tried to call me back.



(*) My first name and last name are both so common I can mention them all I like on the internet without fear of googleability! (I usually go by my full name, since my middle name is uncommon.)